They say never work with your heroes…
If there’s one thing I love to write, it would have to be newspaper columns. These 5 minute reads give a columnist the chance to take a 600 word flight of fancy.
Thrilled to announce that my second book, in collaboration with the amazing Spencer Wilson will be out on the 12th of March. ‘Homeworking: The Ultimate Guide’ is the perfect read for anyone who works from home, or is planning to take the plunge – leaving the traditional world of work behind. “Ask the man onContinue reading “Homeworking: The Ultimate Guide”
In the 80’s when I was ‘Trick or Treating’ (it was a very new thing back then) black bin bags were the staple constituent of every costume I every wore. T
It seems to me that the candidates on The Apprentice are getting worse. I mean if the express intention of the show was to bring together a collection of vapid egomaniacs with all the business acumen of a mouldy Tupperware set, then I’d understand.
I’m part of a growing group who don’t watch conventional TV in the way we all once did. For us it’s no longer a case of sitting down in front of the goggle box and watching ‘whatever’s on’. Oh, no – for box setters, ‘linear’ broadcasting (to use a pretentious-sounding term) is a thing of the past. Time, you see, is a limited commodity, so we’ve decided to focus in on programmes we actually want to watch – gorging on them like telly-addicted versions of Augustus Gloop.
The word ‘like’ is one of comparison. It suggests that one thing is similar to, but not the same as, another. Yes, we all know that, but it’s important to state at this juncture. For some reason, however, the word ‘like’ has replaced ‘erm’ for many as an unconscious way of punctuating sentences.
As such – and my English teacher would be proud of me for this – we’re living in a world of similes.
Imagine the scene: the sun is shining and the birds are singing. You’re on your bike, riding at that perfect pace: not too slow so you’re burning carbs, not too fast so you take in the vista around you. Your freshly-shaved legs are looking good in perfectly fitting shorts and your tan lines are maturing nicely – in fact, it would be easy to be mistake you for a pro. You chat with fellow riders who are great company, while other road users happily, safely and respectfully keep their distance. The only thing on your mind is what type of coffee to order when you arrive at the friendly little café that lies just beyond the crest of the next rewardingly challenging incline.
Nobody, and I really mean NOBODY is interested in other people’s holiday snaps. They are the photographic equivalent of watching Songs Of Praise at your nan’s house or uncomfortable chats with taxi drivers – something to be endured and got over with, as quickly as is humanly possible.
For hour after hour, I’d play on ‘The Triangles’, where tufts of grass became forests in which The A-Team could take cover and broken kerb stones transformed into a ramps that allowed my Knight Rider car to heroically leap any number of death-defying obstacles. I lost teeth, scuffed knees, argued, won (and lost) friends, not to mention Panini trading cards, on ‘The Triangles’ – all (crucially) without the direct supervision of my parents…