Waxing lyrical…

I’ll do anything for my art.

Did you ever see the piece I did for The Western Morning News about having my legs waxed? It’s well worth a read…

Photos by the amazing David Taylor.

“Ready?” asked Lisa, cheerily.
“Ready,” I replied.
In fact, I was having second thoughts, but it was a bit late to call it off now. 
I lay back and the first layer of warm wax was applied to my leg.
I’m one of that ever-growing group of unfit men who’ve turned to cycling in an attempt to gain control over their wayward waistlines. 

“I don’t look silly do I?” I asked my girlfriend, the first time I squeezed into cycling kit. Her reply was brutally honest.
“You’re standing there head to toe in Lycra so tight I can tell what you had for lunch and you’re asking me if you look silly?”

Chris McGuire, West Magazine: ‘Wax on, wax off…’

For more of my writing check out my site.

Hairy Dog Stories

Over the years I’ve written for promos, interstitials and short animation.

A favourite of mine was ‘Hairy Dog Stories’ a series of shorts I created for Nick Toons.

The premise was: all dogs are allotted a set number of lampposts to ‘christen’ with pee every day, these are the stories they tell each other while keeping to a tough schedule…

The dogs were named ‘Arnold’ and ‘Toby’, voiced by the amazing Lewis MacLeod of Postman Pat and Star Wars fame. The animation was created by Zoo Films.

For more of my work, why not check out my site?

Gullible? Me?

This is one of my favourites.

When you live by the sea, gulls become a constant source of frustration. Here’s a column I wrote for West magazine:

As a child, ‘Jaws’ was one of those films I hid behind the sofa to watch. I’d dare myself to snatch glimpses of the scary (and simultaneously ridiculous) monster shark. Yet, as the increasingly leaden sequels piled up – like karaoke versions of the original – one thing began to grate with me.

Was the villain of the piece actually evil?

Surely the shark just did what came naturally? Even if ‘what came naturally’ included eating unsuspecting swimmers? I concluded that no animal, including sharks, is evil. They just occasionally do antisocial things, like eat people when they’re hungry.

I reached this conclusion long before I lived by the sea. Yet since my move West, I’ve discovered there’s an exception to every rule: in this case it’s the seagull. Seagulls aren’t like other animals. They are malignant, plotting, conniving, nasty creatures. Seagulls are a thumping headache in bird form, serving no purpose other than causing chaos – which they love.

By the 2nd ‘Jaws’ sequel, I felt sorry for the shark. I’ve never felt sorry for a seagull.”

Chris McGuire, West Magazine: ‘Gullible? Me?’

For more of my writing work, including columns like this one – take a look at my new website.


John Burton Race

One of my favourite interviews was for West Magazine – the Western Morning News’ weekend supplement – with Michelin starred chef John Burton Race. John has a reputation for being a little fiery, to say the least. But when we sat down for a chat he was an absolute pussy cat.

Have a read.

For more of my writing, columns, blogs and copy-writing. Do check out my new website.